QUESTION

I have two girlfriends tell me that men they were dating just stopped communication altogether after sleeping with them. I’m not talking about casual hook ups. These men pursued the women, they dated for several weeks, one guy bought clothes for my friend and helped her paint her room. Another guy had deep heartfelt conversations with my other friend to gain her trust. My point is they acted like they really cared about the women, but once they got to sleep with them they just stopped talking to them. I know women have done this as well, but I want to know some men’s perspectives. It sure scares the hell out of me and makes me think dating is dangerous because you don’t know who has honest intentions. It’s been pretty traumatic for my friends.

ANSWER

From men’s perspective it looks that every normal usual man needs woman and sex with her as resolution of all effort, all positive inner emotional vital tension and outer action process. By seeking woman he hopes or has illusion, that this particular woman he tries to get is some special or final stop in his search. In a process of dating he goes through mental, emotional and physical contact stages of KNOWING a woman. If after this full knowledge he is fully satisfied with this woman – he stays with her forever, if not – he passes.

Parallelly woman’s behaviour in this (dating) process is very important. If she is weak, has no will or fundamental understanding how to behave and communicate with man, if she opens too fast and to early – it is her fault and problem, that man leaves her or stops to communicate. If he did so means, that he lost interest in her.

Of course there are incompatibility issues, but these things can be sorted out without help of sex few dating stages back.

And if woman agrees to have a sex without marriage – it is her problem, that man leaves her.

If she wants to control situation she has to have sex only after marriage. This is recipe of thousands of years old.