All or most in male-female relationships depends on one main factor –
what love definition you use.
Depending on context, love usually has two completely opposite meanings (definitions, understandings, notions) and most typical mistake is swapping or mixing these 2 meanings:
- LOVE TO YOURSELF in a context of other person who actuates passion or desire and pleasure you get through this person. We call “it beloved” person. In fact this is selfish, egoistic love, directed to oneself, taking of energy from other (from spouse), focus to subjective feelings, emotions. I feel love, instead of I care about other’s feelings. In fact this is love to yourself and caring about yourself mostly. Of course indirectly it makes pleasure to other person, but selfisness dominates
- CARING ABOUT OTHER PERSON. Technically or strictly speaking only this is true love. Love as unconditional giving of energy, giving of real pleasure to other person and care directed to other person (to spouse, opposite sex). Care about real needs of other person. This is really not easy, because you have to know exactly basic typical needs (and often in addition – to know unique specific needs). Only this is real love. In general it needs conscious mental effort, willpower, sacrifice of your life-power to other person. If you do not hit exactly to needs of other person and if this person don’t get real pleasure, so if there is no end satisfaction result feeling – usually this is person finally flees/quits/separates/div
Monodirectional love is sacrifice only or love without reply. This is separate question and nomral marriage relationship in such case is hard, complicated or even impossible. But in some cases persist.
When you really give – you always sacrifice something important to you, usually some type of energy (knowledge, life-power, money, attention-time, food and so on).
To change attitude, standpoint and behaviour from selfish egoistic love to sacrifice or altruistic love is serious challenge. This is one big general problem of relationships.