ID-10033143

QUESTION: Hello, i guess something’s wrong with me. i’m 27 and i had 5 girlfriends. they all left me sooner or later, because ‘i didn’t give them what they wanted’, they said i was immature and selfish. but i really loved them, i don’t know. now i’m afraid to start a new relationship..how not to fail again?

Tomas Yono:

  • Nowadays, most young people in the Western World lack knowledge how to treat the opposite sex, as a result, 50 % of people in the UK suffer from loneliness and the country faces high divorce rates.
  • so your case is not in any way unique given this context. You simply need knowledge and experience.
  • Read at least one of the world’s top classical book/manuals on opposite sex relationships. You want to choose a book that is based on the experience of strong traditional families. Among such useful resources are the books by the Western authors Alan & Barbara Pease or John Gary.
  • Your belief that you actually loved your partner should be put to objective test. People often confuse self-love with actual love for another. How can one love another if you do not know their essential (opposite sex) qualities and you are not aware of their needs? After all love is about giving your partner what they need rather than relishing pleasant feelings of getting into a relationship yourself. Love for another person is taking care of that person rather than taking care of yourself.
  • There is nothing for you to be scared of. Just meet a sufficient number of potential candidates but do not let yourself succumb to feelings at this stage and simply ask them a series of questions (4 question groups). Once you recognize your future wife, take next steps towards creating a family with her.

only after you start a family with your partner can you succumb to feelings

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